


"We can have fanfiction but not ketchup" -DM

by themadkitkat



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: Chickens, Crossdressing, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Disasters, Gay Panic, Kidnapping, M/M, Magic, Missing Persons, POV Multiple, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, more chickens!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadkitkat/pseuds/themadkitkat
Summary: Started as a line from our DnD session. And this has sprung in.  The characters are all human but have traits of their original races. An adventure set in a quiet town based around a festival for chickens. It is going somewhere, even if I'm not sure where to.3 sets of Disaster gays, a fat cat and a whole bunch of chickens.
Relationships: Original D&D Character(s)/Original D&D Character(s)
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue - Introductions

They say that if a village is isolated then some people there will always be a bit odd. Ok, a LOT odd.

Here is the village of Bathai. No one has really paid any attention to it for the last century or so (or however long it has existed - no one’s really sure how long it has been there).

Today is the start of a week-long preparation for the biggest festival this village has; no, it’s not Christmas, this is the Erosima festival. The whole village goes all out, bonfires, dancing all night, buffets and stalls. Let’s introduce our characters…

Here we have Elbi, she is our main focus. The only person who has come to the village since its founding and decided to stay. It’s kind of unknown where she came from; Elbi arrived in Bathai about 4 years ago with her Masterful Musical Magic act wowing the crowds (of about 10, there aren’t many here). The only living thing she brought with her was this...sort of...cat. I say sort of cat because from a distance, and up close, it looks a lot like a blob from how big it is. Fondly introduced as Blobby this black cat (ooze?) followed her to Bathai and has made as many friends as Elbi has. She fell in love with the woman she met in the cafe on her first day in Bathai, who we will go to next.

Meet Daenys, and no, her parents weren’t Game of Thrones fans, its just an unfortunate name. Daenys has been a part of the village since the gods know when, some say she was even a founder. Now don’t get me wrong, Daenys doesn’t look old, she looks like a young twenty-something year old and acts like a child sometimes. Okay, ALL the time. Now what does a woman like this do? Well, she’s the mayor. It is a big job that normally anyone who isn’t a stuffy serious adult would cave under the pressure, and yet somehow Daenys manages to wrangle everyone, even including Ali and Felver.

Now Ali and Felver are complicated. They are the heads of the two religions in the village, the Greek and Roman temples respectively. They are together but not, they are married yet don’t act like it. They are the two most complicated people in the entire village. One day they just started dating. It was odd because they seemed to have spent most of the time arguing, but after a few months of these date-arguing nights there was the sudden appearance of a pair of matching rings. Not a word was said after, and everyone just accepted they had somehow decided they were married and no one wanted to contest them. Now although there are the two different religions there are very few disagreements between the groups, mainly just these two. In fact, some people alternate between the temples they go to each week.

Now the final couple to introduce may not seem important, as humble chicken farmers, but they are most likely the most revered in the village as their chickens are the centre piece of the village. They have always been here and always will be. And who are the ‘Guardians of the chickens? Well Zalazar and Kimerth of course. They are probably the most normal couple in the entire village, which isn’t really saying much. I think the easiest way to imagine them is to think of them as the nice old couple down the road who have a few too many animals, except they’re not that old, but they are that happy. Zalazar is the one who is always out and about running and helping people whereas Kimerth prefers to stay at home, ‘under the watchful eye of Cluck’, Zalazar often jokes.

Cluck is their chicken, not one of the chickens part of the farm but one who is always with Kimerth no matter where he goes; normally following behind or resting on his head or shoulders - it depends on the day. They have a regular visitor to their chicken coup of Blobby, who just sort of sits there, so everyone allows him to stay. Elbi knows he will return to her sooner or later.

Now that everyone has been introduced, I think It’s time to talk more about the festival. In February the whole village celebrates Erosima - as previously mentioned this is a huge celebration. Everyone chips in to help. Despite the village having two temples to the Greek and Roman pantheons, this is from neither of them; the town is celebrating the successful start of the chickens’ egg laying year. There is the sister celebration, Thanamaiea, which is the end of the egg laying year; a much more mournful time. During Erosima the chickens are all taken to the village hall and doted on by the village folk, all congratulating them on continuing to lay eggs for the people. There is a superstition in the village that if the chickens stop laying then hard times will be coming soon.

That is the whole village. On to the actual story now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? The plot will start in the next chapter. Wherever it decides to go to is a different question. This is going to be something I work on during lockdown so I shoudn't forget about it too much... Oh well


	2. The story starts - Daenys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the plot to start, a few other background character are also mentioned but they're not as important so they weren’t in the prologue.
> 
> Chapter has been edited slightly due to fixing a plot hole

“Elbi!” Daenys shouted. “Have you gotten the music sorted yet? You told me it would be done yesterday and you haven’t sent me the list to be played.” Daenys rubbed her eyes tiredly as Elbi didn’t even look at her, too focused on Blobby; both of them making weird movements. After 5 minutes of Daenys standing in the doorway Elbi noticed her.  
“Hi Daenys, Blobby was just telling me about his day. Did you know he found a bird earlier?”  
“Elbs please tell me you’ve sorted the music; you know this is a stressful time. I already am having trouble with Ali and Felver arguing again I don’t need any more stress.”  
“Oh yeah, that. I did that a week ago. I even handed you the list at breakfast on Monday, you know? Last week?” Elbi replied, looking at Daenys strangely. “Are you ok Denaynay? You haven’t been this stressed for the festival before”  
Daenys sighed “Yes but this is going to be my 100th festival so it needs to be perfect. I need to check in with Kimerth.”  
“Wait 100th? How old are you? You only look twenty-something.”  
Daenys didn’t hear Elbi as she was already running out the door, as well as much she could with her limp. Elbi just shrugged, turned back to Blobby and started bobbing again.

Daenys ran down the road to Kimerth and Zalazar’s home, only to be waylaid by Ali.  
“Hi Daenys, have you seen Felver? I need you to tell him to make sure his people aren’t making the crafts, that’s what my group is doing this year. And I’m certain they must have been stealing our feathers - why else would they have so many? I’ve tried to get contact with him, but he isn’t answering me” Ali whined. Daenys peaked behind Ali to see Felver standing behind him, looking just as annoyed as Ali. Before Daenys could open her mouth to reply to Ali’s complaints, Felver cut in.  
“Ah Daenys! Great to see you today, have you seen Ali? I need someone to tell him to mind his own business. I’ve seen him peaking in through the windows of MY home _and_ he’s been sending letters about how I’ve been getting people to be making crafts when all they’ve been doing is the decorations.”  
Daenys looked between the two and promptly decided to not get in the middle of their fight, especially as they live together. Turning to Ali, “Look Ali, Felver is right here so you can talk with him instead of peeking through your own windows and writing letters. Felver, same with you, Ali is right here. Please just fix it yourselves. You both know what you’re in charge of so ensure your tasks are completed. However, they’re free to do extra, and it doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to do decorations if they’ve been asked to do crafts. Now please, I have other things to do.”  
Daenys ran off quicker than before, not wanting to be dragged in even further to their fight. She knows they will sort it out in about half an hour, they always do.

Daenys finally managed to reach the farmhouse on the outskirts of the village, where a small group of people were calmly wandering about helping with the buffet prep. Or at least they should have been.  
Instead there were panicking - people running everywhere, looking under tables and behind doors.  
“What’s going on?” Daenys said, confusion evident in her voice.  
One of the cooks closest to Daenys just screamed “the chickens are gone!” You could almost hear the tears in her voice. Oz ran the café in the village with her partner, Diablo. Oz wasn’t the biggest baker but she had a 6th sense about what was needed to improve a dish and what a customer wants, whether they know it or not. Diablo did the bulk cooking and is always useful when lots of food has to be produced in a short amount of time.

“What do you mean gone? We can’t have Erosima with out the chickens!” At this point Daenys was also panicking. After saying this she ran inside, somehow managing to dodge Bourbon carrying a tray of fresh apple turnovers; since Bourbon is so tall its easy for Daenys to just duck under his arm, it is always surprising when they see the giant man nimbly making his way around his bakery. Instead of her usual greeting Daenys just ran right past - it was even more important to go find Zalazar, since he was the one looking after the chickens while Kimerth coordinated the food prep. Normally this was the one sector that was actually completed on time with minimal chaos; apparently not now.

Instead, Kimerth was found sitting in the middle of the chicken run, which was, as expected, void of chickens. Slight sniffling sounds could be heard with the occasional sad noise that sounded vaguely like Cluck. “Kimerth? Kim buddy, you okay? What happened to them?” Daenys asked softly as she tried to catch her breath from running through the house. Why was it so big anyway? It was just the two of them normally, the chickens didn’t count as they take up almost no space.  
“I just came out to check on them as Cluck had wandered off and I was seeing if he had come to visit the others like he sometimes does, but when I came out here it was empty. All of them were gone, not even an egg...and there were so many eggs.” At this he burst into tears.

“Hey now, we’ll find them. They can’t have gone far. Whoever took them will have to be going slowly and on foot as there were no noises of a vehicle or anything. Though why they would take them is odd” Daenys barely notice Kimerth crying louder at the acknowledgement that they might have been stolen. “How about this Kimerth, I’ll go grab Elbi, you go rally Silly and the kids if you can, and all together, we will look for the chickens. I think once some others have finished their tasks they can come help. We will find them Kim; don’t you worry about that.” With a quick hug Daenys left Kimerth in the chicken run, running once again, trying to keep the fact she was panicking about what she was going to do about the missing chickens with Erosima only three days away hidden deep inside her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!  
> The chickens are missing... Right before the festival all about the chickens...  
> Not really a good time to disappear. What are they going to do about this?
> 
> Elbi's perspective in the next chapter.


	3. Another person's day -Elbi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As its probably clear now these next few chapters will be the different main character's perspectives of this day when they find out the chickens have disappeared.

Elbi wandered out of the house in the early hours of the morning before Daenys was awake. This was normal practice for them, especially this last week with all the stress. Dawn would be in an hour and Elbi had lots to do. She made her way down to the surrounding woods alone; Blobby was absent today, but he probably had stuff to do. Elbi has been working on something for Daenys - she has been planning on proposing for a while, and has decided to do it at the last dance of the festival where she will play a song that she has composed herself. If she wasn’t out in the woods then someone could hear her practicing and it might make its way back to Daenys. It was affectionately named ‘Please-marry-me-I-love-you-don’t-hate-me-for-this’.  
Caught up in practicing, Elbi almost didn’t notice when the sun rose and her belly started to rumble. She remembered there were some leftover waffles in the fridge, which would be perfect for breakfast.

Back at the house with the large pile of waffles all eaten, Elbi sat with Blobby, who had appeared midway through the meal begging for a bite (which was readily given). After all, a little bit isn’t harmful. Blobby started telling Elbi about what he had done earlier, in their weird language of bobbing up and down.  
“Guess what I found earlier Elbi! I found a bird! It tried to run but I caught it!” Blobby was practically rippling from the speed at which he was bobbing.  
“Wow Well done Blobby! What did you do with it?” The excitement was contagious, but then again Elbi was almost always excited about something.  
“I ate it! Tasty bird was delicious! The feathers…” Blobby was interrupted as Daenys cleared her throat. Elbi wondered if she was annoyed about the waffles being eaten.

“Hi Daenys, Blobby was just telling me about his day. Did you know he found a bird earlier?” This was, of course, big news, as he didn’t normally hunt by himself.  
“Elbs please tell me you’ve sorted the music; you know this is a stressful time. I already am having trouble with Ali and Felver arguing again, I don’t need any more stress.” She did look especially stressed this morning. The few days before the event were always the worst.  
“Oh yeah, that. I did that a week ago. I even handed you the list at breakfast on Monday, you know? Last week?” Elbi replied, thinking _or was it Sunday?_ She was confusing herself. “Are you ok Denaynay? You haven’t been this stressed for the festival before...” Normally it was the the eve of the festival before it got this bad.  
Daenys sighed “Yes but this is going to be my 100th festival, it needs to be perfect, and I need to check in with Kimerth.” Daenys ran out the door as soon as she said that  
“Wait 100th? How old are you? You only look 20 something.” Maybe she was tired, there’s no way someone can be over 100 years old and still look that hot. Shrugging it off Elbi turned back to where Blobby was just to see him gone. With a pout Elbi resigned herself to getting back into work. Or maybe she could go to the café to see if Oz was there...

The streets were mostly empty as everyone was either helping with preparations or at the park with the young kids. Maybe she’d join them if she couldn’t find Oz.  
Upon reaching the café Elbi can see Oz wasn’t by the counter, Diablo was, and he was in the middle of wiping it down in the absence of any customers. Either way, she might as well go in, she thought, opening and closing the door about 5 times just to hear the bell ding.  
“Elbi, please stop that. You know how annoying the bell is.” Diablo sighed, he had to put up with the repeated dinging whenever Elbi came over.  
“But Diablo… the ding ding has to announce itself to the world.” Elbi tried to beg Diablo, despite knowing it was pointless as he was too powerful.  
“Elbi just please reduce the number of dings, now what did you want?” Diablo turned to give Elbi his full attention.

Jumping up onto a stool, Elbi propped her elbows on the counter to speak to him. “I just came over to see if Oz was here, and also to possibly see if I could get some lunch?”  
Diablo just sighed and grabbed a plate, plucking a large croissant and placing it in front of her before she could say anything. She smiled sweetly at him and then ate the croissant in one bite, sugar all around her mouth and flakes falling everywhere. Diablo just shook his head and started cleaning up the new mess on the previously clean counter.  
“If you want Oz, she’s down at the farm where the food prep is happening. However, you will be dragged into the fray if you go. You know how she gets when cooking.” He shuddered, obviously remembering the all the times she’s taken over the kitchen. Elbi’s eyes widened as memories of last year flooded her mind; voices shouting, cakes exploding, and the children… oh god, the children crying.  
“You know what Dibdab I think the childminders, well Sylsatra, might some need help, I’ll just go check on them at the park” Diablo just smirked and handed her a cheese straw, fresh and warm from the oven. With a skip and a wave, she was out the door. The park wasn’t too far from the café but it was still a short jog to get there.

As Elbi approached the sound of laughter grew louder. The park is a culmination of many peoples’ work, swings, seesaws and a sort of climbing frame that looks like a giant pile of sticks (or it might actually just be a giant pile of sticks, who knows). Silly came over when she saw Elbi arrive. No one knows who Silly's parents were and she didn’t seem inclined to ever answer it, always spending more time with the animals and occasionally the kids, especially as she said they were the basically the same as the wild animals she heals.  
“Hi Elbi, it’s great to see you. Are you here to help me with this lot? They seem to be more unruly than ever. One second please,” Sylsatra is cut off from saying anything as the baby in her arms starts to fuss. “Normir has been very agitated today, not sure why”  
“Maybe he’s hungry? Or tired? I don’t know, how do babies normally work?” Elbi stared at Normir. Babies confused her. What are they thinking? What are they planning? Will they take over the world? Shaking her head to break the stare Elbi looks up to see Normir is somehow in her arms instead, and Sylsatra seemed to be trying to get Boolmi off of the Climbing Frame of Doom, as it’s affectionately named. As if Elbi wasn’t paying enough attention to him, Normir threw up. All over her front… “I hate babies,” she muttered.

“ELBI! ELBI!” Turning her head Elbi saw Daenys charging towards her. If she looked stressed this morning, then now she was having a full blown panic attack. The farmhouse couldn’t have been that bad, right?  
“It’s the chickens. THE CHICKENS! We have to find them!” It all came out in one breath. _Had she run all the way here? She must have gone other places too before here to find me...oh wait, she’s still talking._  
“I’ve been looking all over for you. Why are you out here?” Elbi thought that Daenys is getting more stressed by the minute.  
“I need you to go see if you can find as many people as possible free to look for the chickens. Maybe Ali and Felver, they’re just ordering people about as normal so they can go look. I’m going to see if I can find Gregory, maybe Luciel or… or... I don’t know.” Daenys collapsed into Elbi’s arms and started sobbing. It was a good thing the ground was fairly soft, so as Daenys’ weight dragged Elbi down to the ground.  
“Ok Daenys, it will all be ok. They will turn up. They will be found, and in time for the festival.” Calmly speaking, Elbi gently rubbed Daenys’ back up and down in a soothing manner. “Looking for Gregory is a good idea, so you can go find him and I will try and rally all the kids here, or at least get Silly to do it. Does that sound good Denaynay?” At her calm words Daenys nodded, sniffling a few times. Thankfully, the tears had stopped flowing at this point. Standing up with new determination Daenys helped Elbi to her feet as well.  
“Shall we head off then Elbs?” Elbi nodded and they both ran to where their respective targets normally hung about - Daenys to the station, and Elbi to the temple street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is um... the longest one so far. Hopefully I can try to get to this length more often. Or maybe even longer? There is more thought-like text as Elbi sort of rambles to herself more (or at least I think so, I didn't play her) so i guess that helped.
> 
> Find out next time the next person who we are going to!


	4. Even more trouble in paradise? -Ali

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just what you expected. Another chapter, another perspective. How did Ali's morning turn out?  
> We saw earlier with Daenys that all is not well...

Morning was one of Ali’s favourite times of the day. It was when he was the most productive; today, he ate breakfast and started drafting some letters. 

The first one was going off to his mother who insisted on him writing at least once a week. No matter how long it has been since he left home (aka ran away at 14) she still has power over him - for the gods’ sake, he’s 36 and he’s still scared of his mother. Besh Aba was not a woman to cross, and often threatened to get authorities involved if he didn’t write to her.  
The second letter was to Felver - a request to cease and desist, if you wish to know. He knows that Fel was deliberately trying to take over his section, as he saw through the window that they weren’t _just_ making decorations like they should be.  
“ALI! Just look at me! Stop ignoring me!” Hmm…the Annoyance was back at it. Fel should know by now that he was annoyed. Just because they went through this each year does not give him the right to think he can talk to him right now. _Maybe I’ll go for a walk, clear my head and all_.

Walking down the street, ignoring Fel following behind him, Ali enjoyed the early morning birds chirping away. Perhaps he could stop at the café - Diablo would have finished a new batch of his wonderful cupcakes. The banana ones were his favourite. Ali perked up when he saw Daenys up ahead. He ran in front of her, stopping Daenys in her tracks.

“Hi Daenys, have you seen Felver? I need you to tell him to make sure his people aren’t making the crafts, that’s what _my_ group is doing this year. And I’m certain it must have been them who have been stealing our feathers; why else would they have so many? I’ve tried to get in contact with him, but he isn’t answering me,” Ali whined; Daenys was in a relationship - she would understand him. Ali watched her glance behind him, not turning as he knew what he would see; Felver standing behind him, looking just as annoyed as him. Before Daenys could open her mouth to reply to Ali’s complaints, the Annoyance cut in.  
“Ah, Daenys, great to see you today, have you seen Ali? I need someone to tell him to mind his own business. I’ve seen him peeking through the windows of _my_ home and has been sending letters about how I’ve been getting people to be making crafts, when all they’ve been doing is the decorations.” Ali felt himself growing steadily angrier, his mind swirling with the injustice of it all. _How_ dare he accuse him _of such acts, when what he was doing was for the good of the community_. Ali knew what Fel was doing - encroaching on his group’s activities and deliberately undermining their efforts. This was sabotage!

Daenys looked between the two, her tilted head betraying her confusion. Ali wasn’t sure why she was confused - this was a perfectly straightforward case of Fel being an Annoyance. She turned to him. “Look Ali, Felver is right here so you can talk with him instead of peeking through your own windows and writing letters. Felver, same with you, Ali is _right here_. Please just fix it yourselves. You both know what you’re in charge of; make sure it's completed, but the volunteers are free to do extra if they want to. If they’re doing crafts,they can still do decorations, and vice versa. Now please, I have other things to do.” Ali stared at her; what was she thinking? That they should just make up? That he should allow the Annoyance to win? Preposterous!  
Daenys quickly ran off. Ali hadn’t known she _could_ run that fast, since her limp normally meant she could only do a mildly quick walk-hop. Ali turned to Fel, who had moved next to him as Daenys had sprinted away.  
“What is it, Fel? I had asked you to stop taking over my tasks, and you keep stealing our equipment. You may deny it but I know you’re the one who took all our supplies - where else would you have gotten that much stuff? Why do you even _need_ so many feathers?”

Fel took a step back “Hey, look, I just found them and thought that the decorations could be more… _feathery_. I don’t know where they came from, they were just spread all over the park.” Ali narrowed his eyes.  
“I’m heading to the café, don’t follow me this time.” And with that Ali turned and stormed away from Fel. He’ll see him later tonight, it's fine.

The café wasn’t _too_ much of a walk, having already chased Daenys most of the way there. As Ali approached, he saw Elbi run off towards the park, the bell ringing behind her as the door slammed closed.  
Entering the cafe Ali called out “Morning Diablo! Do you have any of your banana cupcakes? I’ve been craving them all morning.” He looked up to see Diablo slumped across the counter, obviously exhausted from the whirlwind that was Elbi, raising his head just long enough to see who it was who entered the cafe, before allowing it to thump back onto the counter.

“Long morning?” A tired nod was his only reply. “How about a ‘morning pick-me-up’? I think we could both use one.” Ali stated, sliding onto one of the stools.  
Diablo peeled himself off the counter. “Think that’s a good plan. I’ve had Oz running about, Elbs rushing in and out, the tree out front being a pain. A drink would help a lot - the bigger the better. Everyone has gone crazy this week.” Reaching up above where Oz could reach, Diablo opened a panel on the wall and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. Pouring them two fingers each, he asked “what’s been troubling you then Ali?”

“Fel again. It’s the same every year. He finds more and more ways to sabota-” The door slammed open as Gregory burst in, his skirt flaring outwards as he ran and his breaths coming in short pants. “Ali, Diablo,” he bent over trying to catch his breath, “Daenys wants everyone.”

“Officer Gregory? What is it? Tell us!” Ali was starting to panic. Gregory was the one person in this town who wasn’t ever supposed to be panicked. The radio on Gregory’s uniform crackled as Elbi’s voice came through. “Have you found Diablo, Greg? We need to all meet at the farmhouse. Roger, um… Steve? How do I end this? Bye?”  
Gregory sighed “Don’t worry, I’ve found him, and Ali is here too. I’ll bring both of them down.” He rolled his eyes, before adding “And you just say ‘over’, Roger is for agreeing. We’ve been over this.”

Gregory straightened, and his voice took on a deep, commanding tone. “The chickens are missing. We’re collecting everyone to start a town-wide search.”  
“How can they be missing? Zalazar never leaves their side!” Ali jumped up from his stool and tugged Diablo’s arm, who downed the rest of his drink before allowing himself to be dragged from behind the bar. He downed his own glass and ran out the door, followed by Diablo and Gregory down to the farmhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... How many people think they know where this story is going? I can assure you that whatever you think will happen will most definatly be far off the mark.
> 
> Who's wondering what is causing their arguments, they seem to be fairly regular and no one seems surprised about them falling out.
> 
> Lets go onto Kimerth next...


	5. The drama increases -Kimerth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be showing what was happening at the farmhouse apart from the chickens and what Daenys saw.

Kimerth awoke to the rooster crowing and the chickens clucking. The bed was empty next to him, which meant Zalazar was up already and feeding them - that was likely the reason for why they were being so damn loud. Kimerth knew it was useless to go back to sleep after the cacophony started, as it was just going to get louder as the sun rose. Breakfast was in order before the cooks started to arrive for the day’s cooking.

Noting a trip to the bakery was in order, Kimerth started slicing the remainder of the loaf up for the both of them. “Zal! Breakfast is done!” If he didn’t call Zalazar now, it would be cold by the time he managed to tear himself away from his beloved chickens.  
The timing was perfect. Just as the toast had browned up, Zalazar entered through the backdoor, covered in feathers and stinking of chicken poop. “How are they this morning?”  
Zalazar smiled as he reaches for the marmalade, “They’re great, the girls have been laying nice and regularly, and it’s only the second day of the week as well! Everything is on track for Erosima. This will be a good year.”  
Kimerth just smiled fondly at Zalazar. In his joy of talking about the chickens, Cluck had jumped on the table and started pecking the marmalade off the toast. The chicken looked overjoyed when, in Zalazar’s excitement, he started waving his hands about, dropping the toast which Cluck very quickly dragged off the table and started eating below. Once he finished speaking, Zalazar looked at his hands in confusion, and Kimerth just handed him another slice, already laden with a thick layer of marmalade. They went through this every morning. Cluck’s main diet was probably toast and marmalade at this point.  
“I have to head to the bakers to get some more bread, want anything in particular?” Kimerth asked, standing.  
“If they have any baked milk can you get some?” Zalazar looked at Kimerth with a pleading look. He knew he could never resist and it would over come any resistance about allowing what Kimerth called ‘a corruption of good milk in the house‘. Kimerth couldn’t even feel the beginnings of resistance develop.  
He sighed “Fine.” Zalazar cheered “But” Kimerth continued “It has to be finished quickly. I will not have it here longer than a day or two.” Kimerth made his way to the door, grabbing everything he needed to go out, “Oh and if any of the cooks arrive before I’m back, just tell them to start setting up. Good? Okay, bye!” and with that Kimerth ran out the door.

It was still early in the morning, as the sun had just started to peak over the top of the trees which surrounded the village. The bakery thankfully wasn’t too far of a walk away, it was half the way to the café so seeing if Oz was on her way yet wouldn't be possible.  
Even before entering the shop, the smell of fresh baked bread was already permeating the air. The door dinged softly as Kimerth entered. “Good morning Bourbon, sleep well?”  
The giant man behind the counter turned at the sound of the bell as Kimerth entered, pulling a new loaf out the oven. “Its been a quiet morning, I think most of the usuals are busy with the preparations. I think when I head over I might just leave the shop open so they can get what they need.”  
“Well I just came over to grab a new loaf, it went quicker than it should have. I think Zal’s been feeding it to the girls, it’s the only reason for it to have run out so quickly.” Kimerth moved up to the counter to survey some of the baked goods Bourbon had put on display. To decide what he wanted of course, not just because he wanted to smell the fresh bread more, that’s ridiculous!  
“Do you want the usual loaf or something new this week?” Bourbon asked as he opened the back of the display case, smirking as the smell of bread intensified.  
Resisting the temptation to keep moving closer to the bread, Kimerth stepped slightly back from the wonderful bread “Well Bourbon, I think that depends on what loaves you have today.” His eyes kept trailing back to the displayed bread.  
“Well, as usual I have the plain loaves, cheesy loaves, rye bread and I’ve been experimenting with different sweetbreads if you want something different for breakfast or a snack.” As Bourbon was speaking, he pointed to each bread as he named them. They all looked so delicious, Kimerth wanted them all.  
“Hmm… I think I’ll take a tiger loaf and a couple of those circular ring ones you made last week, they tasted good.” Kimerth gave into the temptation, he leaned on the counter. The bread was just so close, he could almost touch it. As he was just reaching out a hand, Bourbons voice cut in.  
“The Bubliks? Sure, I’ll bag up a few. Anything else?” Looking up, Bourbon was still smiling at him, like something was funny. But what? Kimerth remembered what Zal had asked of him earlier and grimaced at the thought. It was enough to break him out of his stupor at the gloriousness of the bread.  
“Unfortunately, yes. Zal has become quite addicted to your baked milk. I still think it’s an abomination and shouldn’t exist but he seems to like it and asked me to get him some.” He sighed. “I do love him, though.” Kimerth’s grimace softened at the thought of Zalazar, who was the sweetest man he had ever met.  
Looking at the clock, Kimerth sighed. He had to get back in case either Oz or Keros had arrived. Diablo was going to be looking after the café so both of them were free to help today. “I have to get back now. How long till you’ll be joining us Bourbon?”  
“I shouldn’t be too far behind. I just have 2 more loaves to bring out then I’ll be right behind you, you don’t need to wait for me, If you just set up a station for me I’ll get right into working on some tarts, and if I remember correctly Oz did say she would arrive early today - how long do you want to allow her free reign of your farm?”  
Kimerth shuddered, remembering the last time Oz was by herself in someone else’s house. “You’re right, I’d best get going. I’ll see you soon Bourbon.” And with a wave, Kimerth left the shop and hurried back to the farm.

The streets were fairly empty, the route to the farm was out of the way of pretty much everything due to it being on the outskirts of the village, although Kimerth did meet up with Keros on the way, and they talked about mundane things the rest of the way to the farm. Keros was the helper Oz and Diablo had hired when he was in need of a job, his parents were thankful for the couple hiring him as otherwise he would have just gotten up to all sorts of trouble.

The duo entered the farmhouse just in time to see Oz about to start sneaking upstairs, “Hey! Oz! I’ve told you before to not go upstairs. Its mine and Zal’s bedroom - you have no business going up there.” Oz had turned at the sound of Kimerth’s voice, no shame in her face about being caught. “I thought you would have been upstairs; you weren’t here when I arrived so I thought it’d be best to find you.” She said with a shrug.  
“Was Zalazar not here? I asked him to tell anyone who arrived before I was back that I was at the bakery.” Kimerth didn’t mention he expected Zalazar to forget as soon as he went back outside to the chickens, he doted on them even more in the week leading up to Erosima and the week after Thanamaiea.  
Kimerth sighed, “Never mind that, let’s just start work. When Bourbon gets here, he said he would start on those egg tarts. Oz we just had another batch of chocolate delivered; you know where the egg moulds are. And Keros I want you to start making some scotch eggs, can you manage that? If it gets too hard you can start doing the pancakes. I’ll start by whipping up a ridiculous amount of cake batter. All ready?” Looking round Kimerth saw nods or at least a small sign of agreement from both of them. Keros did look a little confused, but seemed determined to not be demoted to pancake duty.

They’d all been working for about 20 minutes before Bourbon arrived. He spotted the counter that had been set aside for him with all the ingredients he needed.  
Throughout the morning they all made lots of progress; Oz had managed to cast many half shells of the chocolate eggs and had put a few together after decorating them all. Bourbon alone had made enough egg tarts to feed the entire village, and had gone on to help Keros finish the scotch eggs; before they moved onto the pancakes. Kimerth on the other hand felt he hadn’t done as much, as most of the work he did was either the pancake batter that Keros used or cake batter that was being stored until later in the week so the cakes would be as fresh as possible.

Kimerth was avoiding the giant mess in the corner where Oz had been working. The chocolate eggs she had finished looked beautiful, decorated with swirls and what looked like ‘The Starry Night’ on one of them - he must just be tired and seeing things; but the walls and ceiling we both splattered with chocolate, the only clear space was the counter and stool she had been working on. Looking up at the clock, Kimerth saw they had missed lunch, Zalazar _still_ hadn’t appeared, and Cluck had wandered off 20 minutes in and hadn’t come back. Kimerth had assumed he went out to stay with Zal but if neither of them came in for lunch something was wrong.

Panicking Kimerth ran outside and saw the chicken coop door was open. Not a single chicken or Zalazar in sight. Kimerth knew that Zal would never take them out for a walk without telling him, especially during this week; and whether the chickens were in there or not Zal was the most stringent person about making sure the gate was closed, locked and bolted. The ground was scuffed by the entrance, like a fight had broken out. Dread filled Kimerth as he realised that something must have happened to Zal and the chickens. All he could do was fall to his knees and scream. 

He ran into the kitchen, pushing past his friends who had come to the door. Running up the stairs to their bedroom, desperately hoping that he had gone up there with none of them noticing; no such luck. The bedroom was just as he had left it. Oz had followed him up the stairs and heard as he cried out, “The chickens are missing!” He heard the gasp of Oz and her retreating footsteps as she ran back downstairs. Zal couldn’t be _gone_. Kimerth was in a daze as he wandered back down to the chicken run, ignoring his friends panicking and running about.

Not long after he had sat down, he heard someone come up behind him. “Kimerth? Kim buddy, you okay? What happened to them?” It was Daenys, since when had she arrived?  
“I just came out to check on them as Cluck had wandered off and I was seeing if he had come to visit the others like he sometimes does, but when I came out here it was empty. All of them were gone, not even an egg, and there were so many eggs.” At this he burst into tears, the thought that something had happened to his dear Zalazar was breaking his heart.  
“Hey now, we’ll find them. They can’t have gone far. Whoever took them will have to be going slowly and on foot as there were no noises of a vehicle or something. Though why they would take them is odd.” Kimerth’s heart dropped further at the realisation the chickens were stolen. His tears flowed even more; Zal might be hurt, he wouldn’t let the chickens be taken easily.  
“How about this Kimerth, I’ll go grab Elbi you go rally Silly and the kids if you can and all together, we will look for the chickens. I think once some others have finished their tasks they can come help. We will find them Kim; don’t you worry about that.” Daenys hugged him quickly before running off, Kimerth could only sit there in devastation at the loss of his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is definitely now the longest chapter. Only 2 of the main characters left of this moment. What else are we missing about whats happened today?
> 
> And yes, 'baked milk' is a thing, I found it when searching for stuff to be in the bakery. My friend/grammar correcter thinks the idea of it is completely disgusting. So I had Kimerth reflect this.


	6. Suspicious behavior? - Felver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are introduced to our final two characters, and quite possibly someone of importance. And many chickens are named, well at least 8 more of them.

Felver woke as normal in his room. They never shared when they were annoyed at each other, despite his mother Aba Besh always telling him to never go to bed without resolving an argument, they always did though. Felver knew it was bad but Ali was never willing to talk through anything , especially during these past few weeks. It seemed futile at this point; Ali had always been like this. but Felver knew he had to keep trying.

“ALI! Just look at me! Stop ignoring me!” Ali didn’t even look up. He just finished writing his letters, stood and walked out the door. Felver stared in disbelief (even though he should be used to this by now) before running to catch up with him. His multiple attempts to call out were ignored and Ali just kept walking.

Felver was surprised when Ali suddenly started to speed up, before realising that he’d spotted Daenys up ahead of them. 

“Hi Daenys, have you seen Felver? I need you to tell him to make sure his people aren’t making the crafts, that’s what my group is doing this year. And I’m certain it must have been them who have been stealing our feathers; why else would they have so many? I’ve tried to get in contact with him, but he isn’t answering me,” Ali was whining at her. And continued to keep accusing _him_ of everything. Well if Ali was going to be like that, then he might as well do the same.

Felver straightened and looked past Ali, as if he wasn’t there, to Daenys. “Ah, Daenys, great to see you today, have you seen Ali? I need someone to tell him to mind his own business. I’ve seen him peeking through the windows of my home and has been sending letters about how I’ve been getting people to be making crafts, when all they’ve been doing is the decorations.” Felver could almost hear Ali getting angrier beside him, even more so than he was at breakfast.

Daenys looked between the two; she tilted her head, staring in bewilderment. She turned to Ali. “Look Ali, Felver is right here so you can talk with him instead of peeking through your own windows and writing letters. Felver, same with you, Ali is right here. Please just fix it yourselves. You both know what you’re in charge of; make sure it's completed, but the volunteers are free to do extra if they want to. If they’re doing crafts, they can still do decorations, and vice versa. Now please, I have other things to do.” Felver saw Ali’s face fall as he watched her limp away very quickly, as if she was in a rush. He knew that Ali liked to start fights, and was always sad when his attempts were ignored.

He seemed to shake it off and whirled around to face Felver. “What is it, Fel? I had asked you to stop taking over my tasks, and you keep stealing our equipment. You may deny it but I know you’re the one who took all our supplies - where else would you have gotten that much stuff? Why do you even need so many feathers?”

Felver took a step back; the sheer anger in Ali’s eyes was shocking despite the hint of confusion in his tone. “Hey, look, I just found them and thought that the decorations could be more… feathery. I don’t know where they came from, they were just spread all over the park.” Ali narrowed his eyes. Felver really didn’t want to say the real place he got the feathers from; it wouldn’t end well for him.

“I’m heading to the café, don’t follow me this time.” And with that Ali turned and stormed away from Felver. It was sad that he was unable to get Ali to talk to him, but it was expected after all.

After standing in the street for a bit, Felver turned and walked in the opposite direction. Near the village hall stood the Doctors. Corvyn had been the sole doctor of the village ever since she had joined. The cures she handed out always fixed them up better than before their ailments. Felver _did_ need to get another prescription of his sleeping draught. He was glad that he and Ali hadn’t walked too far from home as their house was located centrally and therefore close to Corvyn’s, so he got there in good time.

The medical centre wasn’t lit up, but that was normal; Corvyn didn’t usually turn the lights on so no one would know whether she was in or not, although most of the time she was. In the few times she was out, the door wasn’t locked, so you never truly knew whether she was ignoring you or actually _was_ out. Felver sat around in the waiting room, flicking through the books and random trinkets that had been tossed about on the tables before tiring of them. The bead maze was much more fun anyway.

That was where Corvyn found him an hour later, pushing beads along the wires. Her cough startled him into dropping the orange bead he had slowly been pushing along. “What do you want Felver?”

Standing quickly “Oh, erm, hi Corvyn. Didn’t hear you come in.” Felver moved away from the bead maze as subtly as he could.

“Obviously, now what do you want?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him. It was clear Corvyn was not in a good mood. She had probably just woken up, or been interrupted during one of her ‘collecting’ sessions.

“I just need to pick up another bunch of draughts, these fights with Ali make it hard to sleep. Hey, have you seen Carissa today? She’s not been seen for a few days.”

“Well she didn’t come in for her regular checkup and I know that she tends to have her off days…” Corvyn trailed off, apparently lost in thought. Her gaze suddenly snapped back to Felver. “I technically shouldn’t be talking about this with you. Come with me” She beckoned Felver to follow her to her office.

Corvyn’s office doesn’t look like a regular office would; there were random statues dotted on the shelves, and quite a few paintings too; some even looked familiar…Felver’s brow creased at the creepy painting of some old dude screaming; maybe after putting his aftershave on? Perhaps something else…But nevermind, Corvyn was speaking again. “I have your next batch of vials prepared, they’ve gotta be around here somewhere.” She started to rummage around in the cupboards, flinging random bits over her shoulder; Felver cautiously backed away, ducking as she threw a sharp looking brooch directly at his head.

“Do you need any help looking?” Felver asked. He knew if he was allowed to look, he could be out of range of the flying objects; a pair of earrings caught his eye, and his head turned abruptly as he watched them sail past his head. _Corvyn doesn’t even wear earrings,_ he wondered. _Maybe they’re a gift for someone._

Almost as if on cue, Corvyn stood up with a box, “it’s fine, see? I’ve found them. Now you know the doses already, right? Half a vial ‘bout 20 minutes before bed and that’ll give you enough to fall asleep. Now remember; anymore and you’ll be put in a deep sleep for 24 hours that no one - _no one_ \- can wake you from.” Felver remembered the time he forgot and downed an entire vial one night; the feeling of waking up and finding he had missed an entire day was a terrifying experience he never wanted to relive.

He carefully took the box from her, knowing full well just how easily they could break. “Thank you Corvyn, and don’t worry about Carissa, I’ll be popping around to see her later today.”

“That’s good, now out of my office. Shoo! Shoo!” She started to push him out of her office then pushed him out of the practice fully, slamming the door behind him. Well, he might as well go see Carissa now, since she’ll either be at her place or on some random path in the woods; it’s always hard to tell with her.

After only about half an hour of wandering the forest, Felver came across Carissa sat on a log above a small gorge, gazing up at the sky through the trees. Calling out got no answer, so Felver started to creep close to the edge trying to get her attention before he had to actually get on the log, no such luck. It wasn’t until he had shuffled right up next to her and tapped her shoulder that Carissa turned to look at him. “Hi Fel, what are you doing out here?”

Felver stared at her, had she forgotten they agreed to meet up this week? “Well, if you remember we talked about meeting up this week and since I haven’t been able to find you yesterday, I thought today would be best. How have you been?” Looking over her she seemed quite tired and there were a few new scratches on her arms.

Shaking her head and plastering a smile on, Carissa grinned up at him, “Oh well you know how it is, avoiding people, ignoring Corvyn’s attempt to bring me into her evil schemes of healthiness. How about you, Ali still not speaking to you?”

Felver looked down, “He did speak to me earlier, although it was to tell me to leave him alone.” His heart ached just admitting this, “Hey I just remembered, thanks for the feathers, do you think you could get some more?” He pushed the unhappy thoughts out of his head. For now.

She stared at her feet, swinging to and fro, “Since Erosima is this week, Zalazar has become more protective of the chickens and won’t let them out of his sight, so he doesn’t want me to take them for their walks anymore and is just doing them himself, and that load I gave you took 3 months to collect; chickens don’t shed much, you know.” Carissa looked very disheartened by this - Felver is sure that she is just as obsessed about the chickens as Zalazar is.

“Fair enough, though I think Ali suspects I was involved in some nefarious plot to get them…”

“You didn’t mention me, right?” Carissa cut in, her hand grabbing his shoulders. It took a few seconds and Felver grabbing her arms to stabilise them both on the log. He did _not_ want to end up falling down into the gorge. Yet.

After regaining their balance, he rushed to reassure her “Of course not, you asked for it not to be public information that you collect feathers all year round. It would explain to some why you never want people to come to your house.” He honestly didn’t think it was something for Carissa to be ashamed of, but she was strange like that.

“It is sort of a strange hobby; I just don’t want them to know. Like what if they forbid me from seeing the chickens again? I don’t think I’ll be able to go on if I don’t get to see Meg, Chrissy, Roxy and the other girls; but if Kim and Zal decide that me collecting their feathers is creepy and forbid me from getting close, I don’t know what I’ll do.” As she was saying this, Carissa’s face morphed into one of horror at the thought of never seeing the chickens again.

This conversation was going down a path he didn’t expect. Why did Carissa worry about everything? “Don’t worry, they won’t find out. Only I know and you did swear me to secrecy; you know I won’t tell a single soul. Do you think you might want to go back home for a rest?” A nap would do a world of good - hopefully she would calm down, and her obsession over the chickens would diminish slightly.

She shook her head at him, “I don’t think that’ll be a good plan, I’m just so worked up over worrying about them; I haven’t been able to see them in at least 5 days. I won’t be able to sleep at all.” From the sounds of it, she hadn’t been sleeping at all recently.

“Well as you might know I stopped off at Corvyn’s before coming here, since I needed some more of her sleeping potions as I’ve also been having trouble sleeping. I could give you one so you can have a good night’s rest too - she always gives me more than I need since it’s not every night we have a bad fight, and the potions themselves don’t actually last that long. I guess for security or something? Can’t take them for longer than she says; they evaporate on the use-by date, anyway, and you literally cannot drink an evaporated draught.” He always wondered how that happened, but it mostly worked out.

“Really? That would be great Fel.” It was a bit hard to pull the box out while balancing on the log, but he managed to pass it over without dropping it. Carissa smiled as she clutched it tight. “I might actually go for that rest now, is there anything I need to know about drinking these?”

“Not had them before?” She shook her head, “Well, I think Corvyn mentioned something about not drinking the entire thing in one go and that it takes a bit to kick in, but other than that, I don’t think there’s that much to them.” He probably should pay more attention when being given instructions.

Carissa looked much happier than she had when Felver first arrived, she stood up and looked down at him “Okay then, bye Fel!” And with that she skipped off the log with nary a wobble.

Felver stayed on the log for a while longer, thoughts and accusations whirling around in his head. He tried to come up with a plan on how to get Ali to talk to him, but sadly he could only think of continuing his current efforts of trying to keep talking to him, even though he knew it wouldn’t work.

He stayed out till the sun past its peak before he started to edge off the log, not daring to stand up like Carissa did, he didn’t even stand up until he had crawled about a meter from the edge; he never said he was any good with heights.

He decided to just wander through town. Today he had given his team the day off if they wished since he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it, and as he hadn’t been able to get through to Ali, he’d ended up with nothing else to do. Walking through the streets was strange; there were normally the nice and calming sounds of children squealing but instead of the sounds of children he could hear the adults screaming; from Kimerth and Zalazar’s farm.

Running down the street to the farmhouse Felver was passed by Daenys running in the opposite direction, her face panicked. “Felver! The chickens are missing! I need to find Elbi, I need Elbi” As she disappeared down the street, Felver could hear her continuing to babble about where Elbi might be until she was out of earshot.

Daenys’ shouts echoed in his mind, and he desperately hoped they weren’t true. He started running towards the farm, the panicked screams getting louder as he neared. It was carnage. He could see Oz, the one who was making most of the noise, running around in circles screaming, Keros was curled up in the corner, rocking back and forth, although whether that was due to the chickens missing or Oz was hard to tell. Deciding to ignore those two, Felver ran into the building, _just_ dodging Bourbon who was trying to carry 4 baking trays at once; apparently, he was the only one left desperately trying to keep the entire kitchen from burning down, and avoided slipping in a mix of melted chocolate and food dye splatters at the very last second.

Kimerth was found out in the back, sitting against one of the coops. He was leaning against the wall, clutching a single feather to his chest; quietly mumbling to himself, naming all the chickens; “...Penelope, Iris, Myrtle, where are you all…oh Annie, Eloise, Meg…” 

It took quite a bit of shaking to get Kimerth to respond, but he wasn’t able to get a word in once Kimerth saw him — “Oh Felver, you have to help. Daenys has gone to look for Elbi and the others, but we need to find My Zalazar. I came out here to check on him and they were all _gone_ . Him _and_ the chickens, my whole life just _gone_.” Felver’s heart broke a little as he heard the other man breaking down after his husband disappeared, somehow knowing that he and Ali were never going to be like that; at least, not in the near future, anyhow.

Shaking his head to clear his mind — now wasn’t the time to be mourning the state of his marriage — Felver thought back to how Carassa had been acting, the obsession to always be near the chickens, the anguish at the idea she wouldn’t be able to be near them at all this week, but she wouldn’t hurt Zalazar, right? _Carissa,_ please _tell me you had nothing to do with this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has taken a while, as trying to change the characters to fit in this story while staying true to how they were played has been a much tougher job that I anticipated.
> 
> Now, who thinks if Carissa was the one who dunnit or is it just a coincident that she and Felver had that conversation just before they went missing? Who knows, I certainly don't.


	7. Mysteriousness intensifies - Zalazar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter detailing what happened to Zalazar. What did he see before Kimerth discovered his disappearance? Who did he talk to? Who did he see?  
> And would anyone's suspicions be correct on who dunnit?

Before the sun was up, Zalazar carefully snuck out of the shared bedroom. He knew Kimerth valued his sleep and if woken too early, his rage was that of a dragon. _Not_ how anyone wanted their morning to start. Luckily, Kimerth barely stirred as Zalazar slipped out and got ready for the day.  
Despite what Kim thought, Zalazar knew that this was an ‘ungodly time of the day’ as Kim oh so eloquently put it; but in his mind, the girls are worth it. One person did see him wake, Cluck, who perked up and wandered over to start pecking at Zalazar’s feet, begging for food. Zalazar chuckled softly, scooping Cluck up onto his shoulders, “don’t worry Cluck, you’ll get your breakfast.” Receiving a soft cluck in response, Zalazar headed downstairs and out the back, grabbing the key to the shed as he went.

Only a couple of the chickens were wandering about already; they saw him heading towards the shed and started running about in circles in their excitement. The shed is where all their feed is kept is in clear view of the coop and they’ve learnt that when he enters the shed, food comes out. Its all they need to care about in their life; no worries, no dangers, no fear of having to get their own food. Zalazar was actually quite envious of their carefree existence.

By the time he had grabbed the seed bag and carried it back to the coop, a quick count showed that all 68 chickens and the rooster were all waiting by the gate for him, clucking quietly. Cluck, still on his shoulder, stared down at the others in what could be described as exasperation; if chickens even knew of such a feeling. “Here you go girls,” The rooster crowed at this, “Sorry, and Sir, may I present: your breakfast.” And with those words and a mock bow he poured the required amount into the feeder and they all descended. Zalazar sat at the edge watching with a fond smile, the rooster did his morning routine of climbing to the top of the feeder and crowing loudly, possibly loud enough for Kimerth to be woken up. Sure enough, a low groan was heard from the window, followed by dragging footsteps heading to, what Zalazar presumed to be, the kitchen after a pause.

One of the chickens, Krishna, hopped into Zalazar’s lap, demanding attention; closely followed by Lucky, who was not one to be left out if head pats were being handed out. Loxanne seemed to be in a competition with at least five of the others on who could eat more. Kimerth’s voice interrupted his musings, “Zal! Breakfast is done!”. Looking down at his lap Zalazar’s heart ached as he knew that both Krishna and Lucky would have to be convinced to move off of him, so he would be able to grab his own breakfast. As if sensing his thoughts, Krishna glared at him, daring Zalazar to even _try_ to move them both. The first attempt of gently pushing them failed and just had Lucky turn their own hurt look upwards and just flopping about more, keeping their talons dug into the fabric of his trousers to hold on. “Come on girls, we go though this _every_ morning. You’d think that you’d be used to the fact that when Kim calls, I have to go.” After a couple of careful attempts to gently unpick each talon from his lap, Zalazar managed to release himself from their clutches and head back inside to where he smelled the freshly toasted toast coming from.

Kimerth looked up as he entered, “How are they this morning?” Kimerth asked as a plate of toast was set at a chair for him, next to Kimerth’s own. Absentmindedly Zalazar reached for the marmalade to start covering his toast.  
“They’re great, the girls have been laying nice and regularly, and it’s only the second day of the week as well! Everything is on track for Erosima. This will be a good year.” His hands waved about in excitement, barely noticing as Cluck hopped onto the table from his shoulder and started moving about before jumping off. Once he finished speaking, Zalazar looked down at his plate and saw that his plate was empty; _had he already eaten it?_ The sound of happy pecking below the table alerted him to Cluck making his way through both slices of toast. Looking back up he saw Kimerth handing him a third slice already prepared, with a smile on his face. “I have to head to the bakers to get some more bread, want anything in particular?”

“If they have any baked milk can you get some?” Zalazar looked at Kimerth with a begging look. He needed that baked milk; it was his life blood.   
Kimerth sighed “Fine.” Zalazar cheered “But” Kimerth continued “It has to be finished quickly. I will not have it here longer than a day or two.” Zalazar knew he had to accept the more than fair offer; Kimerth really hated the deliciousness but was willing to pick some up. He watched as Kimerth made his way to the door, grabbing everything he needed to go out, “Oh and if any of the cooks arrive before I’m back, just tell them to start setting up. Good? Okay, bye!” and with that Kimerth ran out the door.

Zalazar knew he had some time before they would turn up do decided that once he finished his third and only slice, to go back outside and wait with the girls; he’ll hear when they enter, they make enough noise to wake a mountain troll, or to scare the chickens; both take a lot of noise, these are the most unperturbed chickens there can be and mountain trolls are deeper sleepers than even Kimerth.

The girls were very happy that Zalazar hadn’t been gone long and swarmed his feet, begging for attention. Looking past them Zalazar saw that despite him being gone for only half and hour, the feeder was already empty; Loxanne seemed to almost be passed out alongside three others, a few chunks of feed caught in their feathers as they snoozed. Knowing they’ll be grumpy when they wake, Zalazar carefully picked all four into his arms and sat on the seat nearby, gently picking out all the seeds; they didn’t wake.  
He had been sat there for a while when the crashing sounds from the kitchen started and Kimerth’s voice rang out; seems he had gotten back as the others arrived. Zalazar thought for a moment about going inside but Maria hopped onto his head, demanding attention.

A rustle from the treeline caught Zalazar’s attention, turning he saw Carissa appear, looking nervous. A small smile and gesture to come join him caused her face to light up as she all but ran to sit on the bench. As soon as she sat down, Chrissy squawked and ran over for pets bringing a laugh out of Carissa as she obliged the chicken.  
“How’ve you been Cas?” Looking at her, she did look very worn out; probably hadn’t been sleeping, strange since this is supposed to be the most joyous time of the year.

A sigh escaped her but she smiled as Andy pushed Chrissy off and took the clearly prized spot, looking up expectantly. “I’ve been well, not sleeping but the daytimes have been good. I’ve just come from meeting Fel; we hadn’t been able to talk recently due to him trying to fix it with Ali but he, as normal, somehow manages to make you feel better. He is the most amazing friend you can have.”  
Before Zalazar could reply, a ginormous crash was heard from the house followed by a yelp from Oz; she’s loud enough that you could recognise her voice a mile away. The sound startled Zalazar into jumping up and start to run to the house. That’s his home, he didn’t want anything to happen to it; most of Oz’s messes were large and hard to clean. Zalazar ran the fastest he ever had but he didn’t get far. A loose wire from the fence caught his ankle and he went sprawling into the gate receiving a face full of dirt as the lock broke and it couldn’t support his weight, it’s only supposed to secure the chickens after all.

“You good there Zal?” Carissa asked as she pulled him back to his feet. “I think I’m fine. Don’t think the gate is though. It’s strange, I thought the fence was in better condition; how it managed to catch my foot is a mystery.” His entire front was covered in dirt; at least it wasn’t a newer clean shirt.

Carissa sat back down on the log, “It looks like you need to calm down and relax a little Zal. Fancy a drink? I filched this from Diablo’s not-so-secret whiskey store,” she proudly waved two small bottles of the stuff in Zalazar’s face. Carissa’s bag seemed much lighter now, the bottes where probably the only things in there or something. Zalazar pondered whether this was a good idea; he _is_ looking after the chickens, but they are mostly self-sustaining, especially after he’s already fed them.  
“I guess a little won’t hurt. But only a _little_ bit, I don’t think the chickens will like drunk me stumbling about the coup.” Almost as if he could understand him, Cluck let out a short cluck with a bob of his head from his perch on Zalazar’s shoulders; somehow having managed to stay there during his tumble. Carissa smiled her slightly mad smile as she handed the opened bottle over before opening the second.

About an hour later, Carissa was fully sloshed and after falling backwards off their perch, was giggling madly. Zalazar however was still very much sober. Each time had had tried to reach for the bottle to take another swig; one of the chickens, often Cluck, would wander in front of it or hop up onto his lap and demand attention. Whilst these thoughts raced around his head a wave a tiredness rose up, drawing a yawn from him. The sound of babbling from his right made Zalazar turn, thinking Carissa was talking to him. However, she seemed to be in a very heated discussion with Georgie, both of them clucking at each other.

“Cas, I think it might be time for you to head off. I get the feeling that you didn’t grab lunch and I know that I didn’t have time to grab any, so both of us should go grab some. If you want to comeback afterwards, that’s fine; I just don’t recommend coming in the house, you know how they get.” Carissa seemed to have heard him as her face dropped slightly at this; she started to shake her head but as Cas did so, her stomach growled.

“I guess so. My tummy is hungy. It wants foodies.” Zalazar sighed as she fell into further hysterics; although the sight of Carissa rolling about on the floor laughing was quite amusing, he couldn’t just leave her there in the mud, and for some reason there was a niggling feeling in the back of his head telling him to not leave her in the coup unsupervised.  
Hauling Carissa to her feet was harder than expected, as when Zalazar tried to stand his own legs wobbled; must have had a bit more to drink that he thought. “Come on Cas. You should be heading off now. Go get food.” Pulling Carissa to her feet was hard; despite him being more sober, his balance was off. Predictably, both of them fell back over. It took longer than it should have after only one drink for Zalazar to get Carissa standing. Many of the chickens had gathered around, just watching them stumble about.

“But I don’t wanna go; can’t we just sneak from Kimy, he’ll have the foods.” Her voice whined to the point of incoherence.  
“Well, _Kimy_ doesn’t need any more people in the kitchen, he already has two, no three, or is it five people in there, whatever, he doesn’t need more stress.” At his words Carissa pouted, obviously put out by that. She went to push Zalazar but her balance was still off; he could only watch as she stumbled backwards, tripping over Lucy who squawked indignantly and ran off, and fell straight into the chicken’s water which could more accurately be described as a pond instead of a trough, and luckily not too deep that Carissa would be struggling to stand.

She sat there blinking for a bit, water dripping down her face, her brown hair plastered down. “Cas? You all right down there?” A nod was Zalazar’s only answer. Reaching down he grabbed under Carissa’s armpits and hauled her to her feet; it was much easier this time as Carissa wasn’t fighting him and just hung limply till Zalazar set her on her feet. Over at the side, Lucy was giving Carissa a glare, obviously annoyed at being tripped over. A quick glance showed she wasn’t hurt, just a few ruffled feathers.  
“I think I should go back to mine. I need to change and possibly lie down.” It seemed like the water had sobered Carissa up quickly; she stood next to Zalazar, slowly blinking as water dripped off her clothes. Zalazar watched as Carissa shuffled out the gate and back into the forest from where she appeared earlier, turning to make sure that she was walking well enough.

Zalazar called out a “Be safe!” before she disappeared in the trees, she turned with a smile and small wave before fading into the shadows. A weight on his shoulder made him turn to see Cluck had jumped up. “Hey bud, do you think she’ll get back safe? I hope so, even if she just goes to sleep instead of grabbing lunch. Actually I might do that as well.” His sentence was perfectly punctuated by a yawn, so large it almost dislodged Cluck.

After spending a minute attempting to fix the gate into a position where the chickens couldn’t escape, Zalazar gave into the temptation to lie down on the seat he and Carissa had been on. Just as he was nodding off, Zalazar noticed the chickens acting very strangely; they all seemed to be agitated and one seemed to running between small huddles where they would hold what looked like a whispered meeting; what shocked him into full awareness was seeing one of the hutches moving to the side, revealing a downwards tunnel. In his surprise, Zalazar shot upwards, drawing the attention of the nearest chicken, Sadie. He didn’t see what hit him but the last thing he felt before it all went black was a short sharp pain to the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Its been a while.... and this is what I give to you. It seems that these sweet and innocent chickens who have been painted as the targets this whole time, might be the actual perpetrators and Zalazar just an unfortunate witness.
> 
> What will happen? Who will be the next chapter? Who knows? I most certainly still don't!


	8. The Baker and the Chaos - Bourbon and Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding out what was the last moments Zalazar saw before he disappeared we have moved onto the aftermath, the reactions and even more drama.
> 
> Follow Bourbon and Oz, starting from just after Felver left.

Almost running into him again as Felver ran back out, Bourbon could only sigh forlornly as he watched him go. This was something that everyone would be affected by; the amount of love everyone had for the chickens was immense. The scent of the tarts starting to burn forcibly pulled Bourbon from his thoughts; it wouldn’t do to have missing chickens and burnt food.

He hurriedly tried to gain control of the kitchen, his mind only having a single focus as he ran from station to station. Since Kimerth’s panicked discovery that Zalazar and the chickens were gone, everyone has been running around, leaving their stations and ovens on. Oz was still outside running in circles and Kimerth was sitting out back, just staring at the coop. Bourbon was trying to keep everything together to make sure the food wasn’t burned, in the hope that they would be found before the festival. Luckily most of what was being made either hadn’t reached cooking stages or only needed to be put in the fridge to set; only the tarts had been in the oven. He’d been telling himself that he wasn’t allowed to focus on anything other than the tarts until they were cooked and cooling.

Once the tarts were out and waiting for their finishing touches before they could be put into storage, Bourbon allowed himself to think. Pacing around the kitchen, his thoughts whirled around in his head. If only they had been paying more attention to the back garden; his station was right by the window overlooking the chicken coops, so he would have seen whatever happened if he’d just looked outside.

The sounds from the front gradually lessened as, Bourbon assumed, Oz ran out of energy and was spiraling into her mind, probably overthinking everything. The best thing would be to bring her in and set her in front of something until she snapped back to reality. Gently coaxing Oz to follow him inside with a gentle voice was easier than previous times, experience telling him that touching her in any way would not be productive. The counter Oz had been working at was still covered in soft chocolate, soft enough to be mouldable but hard enough to hold a shape.

After getting Oz sat down, Bourbon bustled about the kitchen collecting a few extra splatters that had somehow made their way to the opposite side of the room. Turning back to see she had already reached out, collecting the chocolate and squishing it between her fingertips. Bourbon looked down at the small pile he had collected; it was probably enough to make a small model.

Looking over at where Oz was sat, who was not even looking at the now hardening chocolate, a fully detailed model of Cluck sat in front of her; perfect even down to the cunning glint in his eyes. The misshapen lump Bourbon was holding, however, could be a chicken; it could also be seen as some form of monster from deep underground with faintly feathered tentacles, or something of that ilk. It seemed that Oz was starting to focus more, the glazed look in her eyes fading as she looked down at her hands in confusion.

~~~~

As Oz came back to herself, the thoughts that had been flying round her head in a rush slowly approached the forefront of her mind, allowing her to actually consider them and their implications. Oz couldn’t believe this. Erosima was only a couple of days away and this happens. Zalazar, despite not being the most sociable and preferring the company of the chickens, was well-known and liked by all. Feeling an odd stickiness on her hands, Oz looked down and saw a chocolate model. It was about the size of a small melon and seemed to be a lifelike recreation of Cluck; Bourbon must have made it, and she must have grabbed it from him. A hand on her shoulder cause Oz to look up, startled. Bourbon had left the ovens, and since no tarts were cooling on the counters means he must have finished a while ago to have time to put them in the fridges.

“Come on, everyone’s gathering at the village hall. We’d best get going so as to not be late.” Slowly nodding her head Oz allowed herself to be led out the farmhouse towards the village hall. It was the best place to go after all; anytime there was an emergency everyone gathered there to meet and plan in a logical manner. It helped prevent actions being done twice and to get everything done more efficiently.

Oz watched as Bourbon put together a bag of the extras from the baking session. “We will be stopping by the bakery on the way there to grab a few things; all good with that Oz?” Bourbon always wanted to make sure that everyone was fed enough; during one of their late night talks he had mentioned his previous home town being ravaged by a famine. It was one of his reasons for becoming a baker here.

“That sounds good, who knows if everyone had time for lunch before all this; a couple of rolls would be good to hand out.” Kimerth wouldn’t mind his bag being borrow and if he did, they could always just give it to him at the village hall.  
The walk there seemed to continue on forever, the dread of what was going to be discussed stretching out the minutes.

Along the way, they ran into Sylsatra and the kids, who were following behind almost like ducklings. It seems they must have encountered a panicked Daenys; Elbi was known for hiding out with Sylsatra, her short stature allowing her to hide amongst the children, and the kids always love the stories she told them about her travels, how she sees the world and even the ones made up on the spot.

Oz gladly picked Normir up from Sylsatra’s arms, after he’d spotted her and kept wriggling in Oz’s general direction. Deciding to tune out Bourbon and Sylsatra’s conversation until later, Oz took the rest of the walk to play about with her son and listen to his babble in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see this chapter and most of the rest will be grouped into two or three perspectives.  
> Each chapter will be the next bit of the plot; and since they're going to all be meeting up, they won't be of the same time like the last lot.  
> Oz did mildly disassociate but as I am not well educated on the topic I kept the details vague so as to not spread misinformation.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think? The plot will start in the next chapter, whenever that will be. This is just going to be something I will be working on in lockdown so I shouldn't forget about it too much.


End file.
